In a time that celebrates self-optimization and individual success, a silent epidemic is simultaneously spreading: that of loneliness. We are more connected than ever – and yet often feel more isolated. Against this modern dilemma, indigenous cultures posit a radically different model. For them, the individual is not a detached atom but a node in a living web of kinship. Community here is not an optional social contract but the **fundamental principle of being human**. This article explores this deep understanding of cohesion and shows how it can be an antidote to the crisis of isolation.
The “We” Before the “I”: A Different Basic Assumption
The Western modern age is built on the autonomy of the individual. Indigenous worldviews often turn this on its head. The famous African Ubuntu principle “I am because we are” finds its counterpart in many American cultures, such as the Lakota “Mitakuye Oyasin” (“We are all related”). Here, identity does not arise through differentiation (“I am different from you”) but through relationship (“I am through you”). The well-being of the individual is inseparable from the well-being of the group. This premise creates a social bond based on mutual responsibility, not individual competition.
Three Pillars of Indigenous Community Culture
1. Extended Kinship: The Clan System
The basic social unit is often not the nuclear family but the clan. One belongs not only to one’s biological parents but to a large group of people who share the same clan name (e.g., Bear Clan, Eagle Clan) and consider themselves relatives. This structure creates a dense safety net: each clan member has specific duties towards the others – from childcare to support in old age. Loneliness is thus made architecturally impossible. Your identity is: “I am a member of the Beaver Clan,” which immediately defines your role and your relationships within the community fabric.
2. Decisions in the Circle: Consensus Over Majority
Many indigenous communities make important decisions in a circle where everyone – often regardless of age or status – is allowed to speak. The goal is not to outvote a majority but to find a consensus that everyone can live with. This process can be lengthy, but it ensures that no one is overlooked and that the decision is supported by the entire community. It is a practice of radical inclusion that strengthens the sense of belonging and participation. The circle symbolizes equality, connection, and the absence of a hierarchical apex.
3. Rituals of Connection: Community is Made, Not Assumed
Cohesion does not arise on its own; it is nurtured through regular practices. These include communal rituals such as dances, songs, feasts (Potlatch), or healing ceremonies. These rituals are not just entertainment. They are vital acts of synchronization: they share emotions, renew common identity, resolve tensions, and connect the living with the ancestors. They are the “social glue” that transforms the abstract idea of community into a physically and emotionally tangible reality.
What This Model Says to Our “Individual Society”
- Isolation is a System Failure, Not a Personal Shortcoming: The indigenous perspective makes it clear: if people become lonely, it is not primarily due to their social skills, but to a societal structure that does not prioritize connection and even undermines it. It relieves individual guilt and directs attention to systemic causes.
- Identity Can Root in Relationship, Not Consumption: In our world, identity is often defined by possessions, career, or consumer styles. The clan model offers an alternative, more stable source of self-worth: the inalienable belonging to a network of people who are there for you simply because you exist.
- Conflict Resolution Can Heal, Not Divide: Our legal and social systems are often adversarial (blame, punishment). The circle of wisdom or similar formats of indigenous justice aim at restoring the relationship – through listening, confession, restitution, and reconciliation. The result is not a winner-loser dynamic but a (where possible) healed community.
- Age and Youth Need Each Other: In extended kinship, the elders are the carriers of wisdom and the children are a gift to the entire community. The isolation of the elderly in homes and of youth in peer groups is seen as a sickness of the social body.
Practical Inspiration: How We Can Invite More Community into Our Modern Lives
- Create or Find a “Modern Clan”: Seek or form a small group of people (6-12) with whom you share not only leisure but also responsibility. A “clan” could meet regularly, support each other in crises, and pursue common projects. It’s about deeper, more committed relationships than in loose circles of friends.
- Introduce the “Talking Stick”: In important conversations within family or friend circles, use an object as a talking stick. Only the person holding it speaks. All others listen actively without interrupting. This simple practice creates respectful space for every voice.
- Create Regular Rituals of Connection: Establish a weekly shared meal, a monthly game night, or an annual outing with your most important people. The regularity is crucial – it creates reliable expectation and structure of belonging.
- Define Yourself by Your Responsibility, Not Your Possessions: Ask yourself: Who am I responsible for? (Children, elderly neighbors, friends in need, a community garden). Make this responsibility a core part of your identity and act accordingly.
- Bridge the Generations: Consciously create encounters between generations in your environment. Invite elderly neighbors for a meal, organize a project where youth learn from seniors (and vice versa). Actively combat age-segregated society.
For Whom is This Perspective a Turning Point?
- The Lonely and Socially Exhausted: Who have many contacts but no deep sense of belonging and are looking for a model for genuine connection.
- Parents in Nuclear-Family Isolation: Who bear the burden of child-rearing alone and are searching for a “village” to help raise their child.
- People in Hyper-Individualistic Professions: (Freelancers, solo entrepreneurs) who painfully feel the lack of a collective and a shared purpose.
- Community Builders and Social Workers: Who are looking for cultural models that go beyond Western therapeutic or social concepts.
- Anyone Feeling They Live in a “Society of Strangers”: Who long for neighborhood, commitment, and the feeling of being part of something larger.
Common Objections and Questions
Doesn’t this model suppress individual freedom and self-realization?
It defines freedom differently. Freedom here is not seen as the absence of bonds, but as the ability to realize one’s full potential within a supportive network. The bonds provide security, which in turn allows the individual to be courageous. The question is not “bond or freedom?” but “What kind of bond enables what kind of freedom?”
Aren’t indigenous communities also not always harmonious and full of conflict?
Of course. The model is not a utopia without problems. But it offers built-in cultural tools (the circle, clan duties, reconciliation rituals) to address and heal conflicts before they shatter the community. It is a system with repair mechanisms, while our individualistic society often offers only the options of withdrawal or legal battle.
Can this even be implemented in a mobile, urban world?
We cannot copy the tribes. But we can translate the principles. Replace the “clan” with a chosen family. Introduce the “circle” in neighborhood assemblies or team meetings. Anchor rituals in our calendars. It’s about intentionally designing community where it is no longer organically given.
Conclusion: The Rediscovery of the We
The indigenous perspective on community is not a nostalgic return to the past, but an urgent wake-up call for our shared future. It reminds us that humans are social beings whose psychological and physical health depends on the quality of their relationships. The crisis of loneliness is not a private affliction but a collective alarm signal. By learning from cultures that have placed the “We” at their center, we can begin to question the architecture of our own society and invent new, old forms of cohesion. It is not about reinventing the wheel, but about remembering a very old, very human wisdom: We survive and thrive not as lone wolves, but as a pack. True freedom begins where we feel safe enough to rely on one another.